The New IFIO Book is Now Available for Pre-Order

As we move into 2021, I wanted to provide an update that my forthcoming book, Internal Family Systems Couple Therapy Skills Manual: Healing Relationships with Intimacy from the Inside Out, is available for pre-order now. The book, which is really more of a manual, is currently in press with our publisher Pesi and is co-authored by Martha Sweezy, a phenomenal IFS therapist and longtime supporter of IFIO. It will be released on March 22, 2021.

This manual walks readers through the flow of IFIO descriptively and experientially, weaving interpersonal communication techniques with deep intrapsychic exploration. It guides therapists and couples to intervene effectively in patterns of conflict, move from protective power struggles to vulnerable conversations without attack or silence, and use an essential IFS technique called unblending to understand themselves and others.

If you’d like to stay up-to-date with upcoming book news and the rest of the world of IFIO, please subscribe to our newsletter if you haven’t already done so.


An Update on IFIO for 2021

We are so excited that Intimacy From The Inside Out has become so popular, but, unfortunately, that does mean that almost all of our trainings for 2021 are completely full.

There is, however, one training that still has some open slots. The training is being offered by our Spanish IFS international partners and will begin in May 2021. The training will be taught entirely in English and all materials will be provided in English. This training promises to be a fun and lively experience that both educates and enriches its participants.

If you are interested, we suggest signing up soon to receive early-bird pricing. All registration must go through our Spanish partners. IFS is not administering this training. Please contact Imma Lloret to register (

We will be posting the trainings in the United States and Europe for 2022 online very soon. If you have not already signed up for our newsletter, where you can learn the schedule for upcoming trainings, you can do so here.

Learn more about Gender Identity and IFIO

We’d like to share a couple videos of Larry Rosenberg, PhD, speaking about gender identity, sexual orientation, and talking with couples about sex. These topics were covered by Larry at an IFIO post-advanced training in 2019. Larry is a clinical psychologist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, as well as an IFIO staff member. In November of 2020, Larry will be joined by Nancy Wonder, PhD. to teach a three-day IFIO advanced training dedicated to these topics.

How to be an Antiracist as a Therapist

Learn how to start becoming an antiracist practitioner with Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD, who provides us with a road map for Moving from Culture Competence to Antiracism in Clinical Practice. Watch Thema talk about this in the following 6 minute video, which was posted on the Nicabm blog (National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine).

To explore this topic more, you can also read Ibram X. Kendi’s Book, How to be an Antiracist, which can be found on Amazon

A Couples’ Transformation with IFS & IFIO

The article below appeared in the September 2019 edition of OUTLOOK, in the Stories of Transformation insert, published by the Foundation for Self Leadership’s magazine. It is a great testament to the power of both the IFS program and IFIO couple therapy model. It is reproduced here with permission from the IFS Institute.

“I felt like I’d been in a loveless, sexless marriage for three decades! Sure enough, I’d brought my own long-term intimacy and sexuality issues to the relationship between John and I, but the initial connection we’d established in our early years was completely gone. John was constantly angry, resentful, frustrated and bitter, and that led me to feel worthless, emotionally unsafe, and filled with shame when I was near him. At our lowest point I couldn’t stand to be in his presence and divorce was just around the corner. I suggested counseling and John said he’d go – for one session.”

Click on the following link and go to page 15 to continue reading:

For more information about OUTLOOK or for related articles, please see

Caring for the Caregivers – Recorded Webinar

On April 2nd, Toni facilitated a free webinar for the IFS community. During this time of change and uncertainty, Toni aims to care for the caregivers by helping us remain self-led while our clients, or the people we love, are suffering with anxiety and fear. In this recording, you’ll get an hour of self-care with meditation, unblending tips, and reminders on how to differentiate between empathy and compassion.

Finding Calm during a Global Pandemic

Dear Friends,

I imagine like me you are living with numerous polarities that appropriately come with this kind of global crisis. You might notice fear, denial, terror, curiosity, rage. What helps my parts is to try every which way possible to be present with all that is arising inside and out with as much care and compassion as possible. Another thing that helps me is to pay attention to my nervous system and my levels of arousal, and to practice every day, even in a small way, something that allows for a gentle, mindful, compassionate U-turn.

These things may include:
-Time in nature

Try an IFIO guided body scan meditation, designed to allow time to explore parts in the body and invite relaxation and tenderness toward yourself.

Click here to access a free guided meditation

Warm Regards,


The IFIO Therapist Directory is a rapidly growing list

Did you know we have over 200 therapists in the IFIO Therapist Directory? It serves as a great resource for finding IFIO-trained therapists in the US as well as in Australia, Canada, France, and the UK.  There are IFIO therapists listed across 30 US states, including DC, with 70 in Massachusetts alone!
Also, a handful of therapists in the directory are willing to do sessions remotely via voice/video calls or online.

If you have completed an IFIO training and would like to create a listing, please fill out the form linked here: ADD ME TO THE LIST

To access the directory, go to the Contact page on Toni’s website,, or click the following link: IFIO Therapist Search

Happy New Year 2020

We live in uncertain times. It makes sense that we, as social animals , seek kindness in the faces of people we meet along our way. Sometimes we find it and sometimes we don’t.

How do we make a intra-relational U-turn when our protectors want to speak for themselves, when they experience a threat from the environment and it feels too close for comfort? Courageous communication works well when we want to change our conversations from reactivity to responsiveness. I invite you to do the same with your Parts. The more we connect with them the more they trust us. The more they trust us the more Self is available in our system and we move toward an internal cycle of care and compassion. Try the following un-blending tool the next time you notice your protectors are trying to engage your nervous system without your permission:

Keep your heart tender so you can bring compassion to all that arises.” Jack Kornfield

May this New Year bring peace, joy and happiness to all sentient beings. This January, I want to express my deepest gratitude for all of the people who are presently supporting the development and the delivery of the IFIO model.

Beginning with my administrative team, Kristi Good and Jory Agate, without whom I would be lost at sea. And, to the core training team: Cathy Curtis, Ann Drouilhet, Joanne Gaffney, Kate Lingren, John Palmer, Larry Rosenberg, Robin Warsh, Nancy Wonder, Judi Zoldan, and Martha Sweezy. I just can’t express my appreciation enough.

In addition, there are many people, too many to list here, that volunteer their time and energy to IFIO by organizing and staffing all levels of the trainings in the United States and abroad.

Many thanks to everyone near and far! Wishing you all a magical 2020, clear vision ahead!

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